anti-mommy: more than a phase

By Kate / January 4, 2008 /

Stella has always preferred D. to me. I’m not being modest or anything. She was born a daddy’s girl. Even in those early, horrible months when she refused to nurse, and I’d be pumping and try to get her to calm down, I couldn’t. I would coo and rock and sing until finally D. showed…

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christmas according to Stella

By Kate / December 23, 2007 /

Last night, after reading to Stella and turning out her light, I was lying next to her in bed, giving her a back rub when she said, very seriously, “Mom, Christmas isn’t about love.” “Sure it is,” I said, looking at her narrow back, wondering where she was going with this train of thought. “It’s…

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blogging in my head

By Kate / December 17, 2007 /

I’m sorry I’ve been silent for the last week. I’ve wanted to blog and have actually been thinking about blogging, but it’s been impossible for me to get myself to the computer. Partly, this is because I have a new cold (or maybe it’s the same cold with new life), and all I’ve wanted to…

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By Kate / November 16, 2007 /

I am twenty-four weeks pregnant today, which means that I’m carrying a viable fetus. When we were contemplating a second pregnancy, and shortly after I became pregnant, I thought that these weeks—24 to 28—would be the most difficult for me. A baby born earlier than 23 weeks has virtually no chance of survival, but 24-weekers…

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catching up on a meme

By Kate / October 31, 2007 /

Last night I was faced with the task of hemming Stella’s princess dress. (I know. It’s utterly shocking that she has chosen to be a princess for Halloween.) But I couldn’t muster the strength to go down in the basement and get the sewing machine and try to remember how to use it, so I…

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a little relief

By Kate / October 18, 2007 /

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling so, so crabby. I’m living with a number of activity restrictions that, in combination, make me feel crazy. I mean, you take no exercise and no sex and shake that up with no red wine, and how would you feel? It doesn’t help that I’ve been…

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forever acknowledging

By Kate / September 30, 2007 /

A few days ago, I took Stella in for her 4-year-old check up. She was all shy smiles, and passed the little developmental tests—drawing circles and triangles, hopping on one foot, balancing with her arms out, identifying the colors on the nurse’s smock—with flying colors. She proudly held out her arm for her blood pressure…

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a gorgeous placenta

By Kate / September 11, 2007 /

I never thought I would be so excited and relieved to hear that I have a gorgeous placenta. TFG. Baby is alive with a healthy heartbeat, and the clot has diminished to a few very small clots. Apparently, “I bled in the right direction.” (Who knew this was even possible?) The big fear was that…

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september, pregnancy and me

By Kate / September 10, 2007 /

They just don’t mix. It was this very week four years ago, while I was pregnant with Stella, that my body began to shut down. The level of protein in my urine indicated kidney malfunction. I had gained over ten pounds in two weeks, all fluid. Soon I was lying in the hospital, vomiting and…

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it's alive!

By Kate / August 29, 2007 /

We had our twelve-week check-up on Friday and heard the little bugger’s heartbeat. Such a relief. Of course, I have a slew of other worries about the pregnancy, but after an early miscarriage in January, it was a relief to hear that minuscule heart pumping away. And did I mention that I love my doctor?…

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