Motherhood & Words

I always seem to miss the national de-lurking day, the day when all the people who read blogs anonymously—silently—are asked to post a comment and say, hey, I’m here, reading.

I actually don’t really like the term “lurker” because it conjures up a number of sinister images in my mind: someone crouched in the bushes outside my house; someone peering around a tree, clad entirely in camouflage. Creepy, right? But a lurker is really anyone who reads a blog regularly without commenting. (And of course there is nothing wrong with that. But as a blogger, it IS nice to know who your readers are.)

So every year, I end up hosting my own Mother Words de-lurking day whenever it fits into the schedule. Or rather, when there is some disaster in the world that has affected thousands (millions) of people, and I feel the urge to raise money.

Last year, I hosted a de-lurk for Haiti. This year, I’m hosting a de-lurk for Japan. I’ve spent the last days scrolling through stories at, feeling sick to my stomach for all the loss, the devastation, the incredible fear and not-knowing that the Japanese people are living with right now.  

I can’t do much to help. But I can do a little. Please leave a comment and tell me little something about yourself. I want to meet you! And for every comment left by a reader who has never commented here before, I will make a donation to the Red Cross to help support their important work in Japan. 

Please de-lurk for Japan! 

Posted in


I have been teaching creative writing for almost twenty years. Reading about other women’s lives and experiences has expanded my world. To be able to walk in someone else’s shoes, whether it’s for a moment or an hour or a few days, is an incredible gift, providing me with insight into the human experience. It takes courage to write your truths, especially if it doesn’t seem as though anyone cares, as though anyone is listening. Let me tell you: your stories matter, I’m listening, and I’m here to help you find the heart of those truths, to get them down on the page, to craft them, and to send them out into the world. Together, we will change the world, one story at a time.


  1. Julie on March 15, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    I am here, and also devastated by the news from Japan. Thanks for the reminder – my own RC donation was on my to-do list for today.

  2. Elizabeth on March 15, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    I've commented here many, many times, and I love what you're doing. I think I might do it myself and spread the goodwill.

    Blessings to you!

  3. Modern day Molly Brown on March 15, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    I have not left a comment before, as far as I can remember. My memory is fading faster than the brand new yellow seat on the plastic swings at the park. We have a dear writer friend in common, Kara "Hot Sweaty Mama" Thom. Hope to meet you at a writer's retreat or at a Loft class this summer!

  4. Kara on March 15, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    You know I'm not a lurker but I'll be retweeting and posting to FB! I'll also drag my friend Jen (Modern Day Molly) to the retreat with me next year!

  5. Julie on March 15, 2011 at 3:32 pm

    I like reading your blog Kate. I know you thru a mutual friend (Jess H) and also I think our girls go to the same school. This is a wonderful thing to do. Thanks for sharing all your adventures as a mom–it really helps to see someone else doing it too.

  6. Cecilia on March 15, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    Thank you for writing and doing this, Kate. You know who I am but I am happy to say hi anyway! Much gratitude from the bottom of my heart, and from all my family and friends in Japan. xoxo

  7. Sarah on March 15, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    You're awesome, Kate! What a great idea.

  8. Kimmie on March 15, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    I came over from elizabeth's blog, so I haven't lurked here before …. But I wouldn't have anyway, cause I like to leave comments 🙂

    You are a kind heart … And it is kind hearts that make a difference.

  9. kate hopper on March 15, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    Thank you, Julie and Elizabeth!

    Modern day Molly Brown (Jen), it's so great to see you here! And I would love to meet you in person. I keep up with you on Twitter!

    Kara, you're a star. Thank you!

    And Julie (Jess' friend), thank you so much for commenting. Jess is the best, isn't she? Maybe we can also meet in person since our kids go to the same school? I'd love that!

    Cecilia, I've been thinking of you non-stop with an incredible pain in my heart. I know this is a small effort, but know, also, that I'm thinking of you!

    Sarah, YOU are awesome!

    And Kimmie, welcome! I'm so glad you stopped by. I'll count you as a lurker for this, and hope you'll be back!

  10. Sara on March 15, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    hi. i am new to your blog! i just heard about you through my midwives (clare and emme) and was happy to find you, what a great idea to donate this way! i do the mama blog thing too and have a book in progress-helped along by many classes from the loft! i am taking one now! anyway. fun to find you. i am a new follower 🙂

  11. Christina on March 15, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    What a great motivation! I've been here off and on for about a year, perusing book reviews and stray writing advice. I mostly lurk on other people's blogs, because the only time I web surf is if I'm lying down next to my baby–eek, 17 month old now–during her naps. It's not conducive to typing.

  12. rebecca on March 15, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    dear kate,
    love love love this idea! i followed elizabeth over and i am thrilled to meet you.
    follow my name back …i think i will take the plunge tomorrow!

  13. Chryselle on March 16, 2011 at 12:07 am

    Hi Kate,

    Your blog is one of my favorite daily reads and I hope you have many new commenters today.

    Thank you for doing this.


  14. Mary on March 16, 2011 at 1:05 am

    Great idea, Kate! It's such a devastating disaster and I too am taking in all the news with a heavy heart. I do believe that if we all do a little it will be a lot, so thank you. xxox

  15. melissa on March 16, 2011 at 3:50 am

    I'm not much of a lurker, but: hi! And I'm glad you're doing this.

  16. abby on March 16, 2011 at 4:50 am

    Hi Kate: Just read Chryselle's post on Facebook and thought I'd join in your great idea to help those stricken folk in Japan. Makes me appreciate all I have. Glad too to have discovered your site and will take some time out to read.

  17. kate hopper on March 16, 2011 at 9:08 am

    Dear Sara, Christina and Rebecca,

    Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. It means so much to me. I look forward to reading your blogs!

    Chryselle, thank you so much for posting this to facebook. (And I can't wait to have you in class!)

    Mary and Melissa, your presence in my life is so important. Thank you, always for your words.

    Abby, thank you so much for visiting and reading! I look forward to getting to know you!

  18. Lynne on March 16, 2011 at 9:37 am

    Nice to comment here! I'm Lynne! Found you from june cleaver in yoga pants because you commented! I love meeting and reading new blogs and totally believe that comments make a bloggers day.

  19. kate hopper on March 16, 2011 at 9:52 am

    Thanks for commenting, Lynne. I look forward to being connected!

  20. Mrsbear on March 16, 2011 at 10:30 am

    What a lovely idea. I'm officially out of the bushes. What a relief. Found you through the Red Dress Club.

  21. Heather of the EO on March 16, 2011 at 10:33 am

    BOOOOOO. 🙂

  22. karen gerstenberger on March 16, 2011 at 11:38 am

    I love this idea, and saw it on Elizabeth's and Mary's blogs…so here I am. My name is Karen, and I am a mother, wife, writer and advocate for pediatric health (specifically, cancer) issues.

    I appreciate what you are doing here. We are donating to the Red Cross from our home; thank you for offering to donate, as well. As Renee said so often, "Together strong."

  23. Chris on March 16, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    Hi Kate – your blog has pointed me to so many great books and authors to read, I can't thank you enough for the continuing support that provides to those of us who love to read and write but aren't at a place where it can be a top priority. Your blog is the book club I can be part of at the odd times I can sneak it in, no matter the time of day or night – thank you!

  24. Janet Ghio on March 16, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    Hi Kate-I followed your here from another blog. What a wonderful idea to donate to japan for each comment.

  25. gemma on March 16, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    lurking here by way of rebecca…
    This is a great idea. Whatever we can do to help.

  26. kate hopper on March 16, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    Thank you, Mrsbear, Heather and Karen!

    Mrsbear, so happy to be connected. I love the Red Dress Club! Karen, so happy to have you here. I recognize you from Elizabeth's and Mary's blogs.

    Chris, you made my day with this comment. Thank you. It's hard to know if what I do makes a difference.

    Janet and Gemma, welcome! Thank you so much for comments. I look forward to being in touch!

  27. deb did it on March 16, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    I am here, now. Rebecca sent me along. I am happy to meet you here, now. ~ Blessings~

  28. Karna on March 16, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    Great idea, Kate. I follow your blog because of your relationship wtih Literary Mama — but I enjoy it because you write from the heart.

  29. Lisa on March 16, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    I am de-lurking. I think it's beautiful what you are doing for Japan. Bless you.

  30. rebecca on March 17, 2011 at 9:44 am

    i hope you will leave your voice on my call out too!

  31. Abi on March 17, 2011 at 10:32 am

    I came by from Rebecca… lovely to meet you and quite frankly, you rock :O)

  32. kate hopper on March 18, 2011 at 11:32 am

    Deb, Lisa, Karna and Abi, thank you, thank you! And Rebecca, thank you for sending so many wonderful people here!

  33. Dawn on March 18, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    As someone new to the blogging world, I'm delighted to see such an outpouring of donations and prayers for those who are suffering so much right now. Thank you for contributing to this global effort!

  34. Sarah on March 18, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    Hi! Does it count if I have never lurked here? I think this is such a good idea so am here via Rebecca's. Thank you 🙂

  35. stace-c on March 19, 2011 at 12:53 am

    Hi Kate. I have been reading your blog for a while now and have commented before. I am also saddened by the disaster in Japan, and hope that we are able to have some small part in the efforts to help.

  36. cath c on March 19, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    great idea, even though i do regularly comment….

  37. Jesica B. Davis on March 20, 2011 at 5:48 pm

    Hi Kate,
    I just found your blog for the first time after you started following me on Twitter so I don't know that I'd yet qualify as a lurker. But I love what you do and will be sure to keep reading and commenting.

  38. Shell on March 20, 2011 at 8:40 pm

    I have a hard time even thinking about what happened in Japan. Hard to believe things like that can happen with no warning.

  39. kate hopper on March 22, 2011 at 12:08 pm

    Thank you, Dawn and Jessica and Shell and Cath and Stace and Sarah! I appreciate your comments so much!

  40. amydry on March 28, 2011 at 10:45 am

    Hi Kate, I actually have never "lurked" here before but am happy to find you through Jeneva Stone's blog. Great idea to do this on behalf of Japan–I've been wondering myself how I might respond in my blog, Pokey Mama,so perhaps I'll do the same, if you don't mind my "copying." Thanks for your good work on behalf of moms who write!